Friday, November 25, 2011

In Memoriam of Today

I've done it. I've expressed my love seriously for the very first time.


Monday, November 14, 2011

Eternal Turn Of The Wheel

I had my second course philosophy exam earlier today and I don't think I did particularly well in it. Regardless, I'm really into the subject now and have been thinking about my own theories. In this part one of what hopefully will be a long series of fulfilling comtemplation, I will examine and analyze some of these ideas on life.

I haven't studied philosophy enough and am only aware of some key ideas and authors - and as you can tell by the claim that my exam didn't go well, my knowledge is limited even on the most essential - but here goes. How to reach eudaimonia.

Arthur Schopenhauer and Buddhism refer to life as suffering. Schopenhauer speaks of contradictions and denies the fact that there would be a logical structure and purpose to life. While I believe in God, and hence believe in the fact that there is logic to everything, logic that He not only uses to create and control this world but is in Himself, I can identify with the idea of suffering. In the past I liked the idea that earthly life is filled with tribulation, in fact I would contemplate that it's a tribulation as a whole. This thought is no longer attractive to me, however, and neither is the fact that Satan or some great evil like that would be making our life, well, hell. Don't get me wrong, he tempts us, he is evil, and he is us. But one can totally forsake evil in their heart and sacrifice to God, yet still they are never free to my experience, not on this land, not until the sacrifice becomes complete in front of the gates of Heaven. True faith is not words or actions, it's not something we can take as our mission to complete, it's knowing we'll die - and that when we do, we die for Him and to get to Him, to receive peace.

Now, if suffering doesn't come out of a greater force or choice, what does it come out of? Let's think about some of the most common reasons to depression, frustration, hate and negativity. From my own life, easy examples are failed love, time loss, lack of acceptance and notice, lack of creative fullfillment and the reach for perfection that always seems to slip away. Two of these are related to society, other people around us and how we react to them and vice versa. The other three are more or less subjective issues but ones many people around the world can identify with. Looking further, with the exception of time loss, it could be said that these are emotional reflexes. Failed love is self-explanatory. Lack of acceptance and notice are in reflection to how we feel and how we want to feel, creative fulfillment is the same only on a different level - reaching for perfection is an endless goal one may never achieve, but in the context the word and the expression are used these days, it has become the synonym for excellence, which is reachable, but usually requires that extra push from our emotions to motive us, and to tell us we've managed like we were supposed to. As for time loss, obviously time is the most objective thing around and affecting us. It's paradoxical to speak of time being lost, yet we do. Why is that? Because we feel that we've wasted some amount of time either by doing something we shouldn't have or spending too much time on something we needed to but not on the expense of something else.

So, once again things have become subjective. Going back to Schopenhauer's thoughts, the great hope in his pessimistic theory was that we can relieve our pain with aesthetic and artistic experiences. Enjoying them can take our mind away from the great darkness surrouding our cloud. Some of the most powerful emotions known to mankind are indeed attached to music, books, movies and images. See what I did there? Art is all about emotions, while it can make our life easier... It's all coming together. Looking back on it, even the things that I listed (depression, frustration, hate, negativity) were emotions. Suffering becomes suffering in our subjectivity, and our subjectivity equals emotion. 

All the contradiction and suffering in our lives is caused by emotion. Many philosophers have said that there is no actual bad and good that exists outside the human moral - I disagree naturally with my Christian belief, but I do see that bad and good don't exist in the mind of a child before they are taught about them. And when we learn, emotions come attached to our knowledge. Whoever said we can't operate with emotions but wisdom instead... Don't you think the two are linked in a way that can never ever be separated?

If emotions are the key to everything, achieving a good life is theoretically simple - diagnose, analyze and learn to control your emotive self. Doing so is much much harder, of course.

See you next time... How I love the stream of consciousness!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

End of A Search, Coming of Morning

Thank you everyone who loves, hates, notices, ignores, stays and leaves. I survived. I will survive.

I'm aged 17 as of 2 PM today. And this is how I crossed the boundary.