Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Year Of Summer

The year is yet again about to shift. Although I don't feel motivated to write a long and analytic post, I still want to share some things to wrap 2014 up.

First, here's my annual end of the year playlist, compiling songs that have been meaningful for me throughout the year: here.

Next is my rank of albums released in 2014 that I have had the chance to check: here. It's really short, but shows how this year felt truly exceptional in terms of the excellence of the albums I did listen to. Every album was either just what I had expected or much better, so this list is devoid of any disappointments. As for EPs, I only heard Katatonia's Kocytean (4.0/5.0) and Days Of The Fallen Sun (3.0/5.0) by Junius, so I didn't even bother making a list.

During the year I also obtained two new band-related items of clothing. You can view short descriptions of them and my other band clothes here.

Then it's time to talk about the year in general. I'll try to keep this short and will exclude any major personal details.

While once again 2014 was not as fruitful as I would have hoped, looking back, it was still pretty decent. I was able to release the first half of my debut album Reflections & Realizations in February, and work on the second half to the extent that a full release is now only months away - and that I can say with certainty since there's only oh so little left to do considering the amount of work it has already taken out of me so far. I never imagined let alone wanted this project to take 5 years, and I can't even say with a straight face that in the end it was all worth it. Don't get me wrong, I do stand behind the songs and feel that production-wise the final product is the best I can do - apart from my approach to the mixing of the drums for the second half, which is much better than what the drums sound on the first half in my opinion. But I also know that the ending result is not going to be totally satisfactory because a) it's not yet professional enough, because I'm not professional enough b) I have newer and better songs waiting to be captured for future albums. Still, I yearn for that day when I can hold the CD in my hand. Thankfully it's not too far away anymore.

My future albums have deserved more of my time this year than Reflections & Realizations, actually. It's shocking, but my upcoming second album is pretty much completed in terms of compositions already and 50% done lyrically. My third album is musically 2/3 done and lyrically 1/3 done. However, these numbers are put into perspective when I say that both of these two albums were started in 2011. These days I feel that this eternally long cooking process is actually a benefit and helps me ensure that the songs are indeed strong enough for the record. Anyway, I have already made plans to capture my second album Romanticism in the summer of 2015. I am so excited for this project that it can't really be put into words right now. For the third album Ravinethrall I've made a song here and there and same goes for the fourth album that is still very much in its baby steps. There's even two other projects, but for those two I only have short ideas, not really actual songs. All of these might never even see the light of day, and even at best they will take years and years to finish. But the important thing is that I have made progress with all of them and it's been fun all year.

Although it got cut after the fifth week, I enjoyed my "A Day; A Record" project at the start of the year. It not only brought me joy in terms of discovering new music, but also in terms of delightful feedback and confidence I gained towards my writing. Though I never reached my rather optimistic goal which was to make it to 1000 albums/EPs heard by my 20th birthday, I did make a list of my 20 favorite albums in video form. I also did hear 71 albums and 10 EPs I hadn't heard before in 2014, which is only half of my record set in 2012, but considering how much work I had to do, it's still pretty nicely done I think. This year was the year I totally fell in love with Paradise Lost, and became even more attached to the music of Opeth and Katatonia. Of course, I also got to see Opeth live on my birthday together with Alcest, and enjoyed the live presence of Korn and Hacktivist as well. I heard Maj Karma for the first time, came to love them, and dived deeper into the music of Brüssel Kaupallinen. This lead me to add both of these Finnish bands to my favorite bands list alongside October Tide, who's 1997 album Rain Without End was one of my most important and heavily consumed albums this year.

Perhaps my biggest and most rewarding artistic project has been my poetry book, which I began writing in September 2013 and continued working on throughout 2014. I'm now at a phase where I have only a few ideas left to try; after that it's nothing but perfecting the poems I want to keep and fitting the pieces together. I probably have about 130 poems to choose from, including the 48 poems I've done during the past two Christmas calendars. The best ones I'm really proud of, and even if no publishing house would decide to grab the book, I'm still going to be thrilled that I have done such a project and made it final. Not as thrilled as for an artistically successful album, but still thrilled.

Besides my art, I've of course been working, studying and - gasp - socializing. I completed my non-military service at the Savonlinna Christian Institute in August. My service brought me some happy memories, confidence, experience and a feeling I had done something meaningful while assisting, being on call and even teaching. SKO is truly a place I will happily return to time and time again. In the spring I had an intense 3-month period of studying for university entrance exams. I applied for literature in Jyväskylä, Finnish and literature in Joensuu and journalistics in Jyväskylä. I passed every exam but chose literature in Jyväskylä as my major, with journalistics as my minor. Since having moved to Jyväskylä at the end of August my life has taken a rather radical turn and mostly for the better. I have more friends than I ever have and ever could've wished for, I'm glad to study again and challenge myself through school, I love living in my own apartment, I enjoy the city's atmosphere, and above all I feel inspired. Sure there's still pressure and time limitations et cetera, but I am not hesitant to say that I'm living the best time of my life right now. And if the conditions don't change, it might go on for at least the next 3-5 years.

Having said all of that, I must conclude that I feel grateful for all that I have and wish a happy new year to each and everyone. Politically, 2015 looks like a very unstable year. Personally? Who knows. I just know that the most defining years of my life so far have been 2003, 2007 and 2011. See the pattern? ;)

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 24: Windowpane

Bare, your fingertips warm;
bliss, under the mantle loan.

Blank face in the windowpane
made clear in seconds of light
disappears and returns again
counting hours, searching the night
might be waiting for someone
might be there for us to see
might be in need of talking
might be staring directly at me

Inside plays a lullaby
Slurred voice over children cries
on the inside

Haunting loneliness in the eye
Skin covering secret scars
His hand is waving a goodbye
There's no response or action returned

There is deep prejudice in me
outshines all reason inside
Given dreams all ridden with pain
and projected unto the last

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Windowpane" by Opeth. Lyrics &  music by Mikael Åkerfeldt℗ 2003 Music For Nations, © 2006 Sony BMG Music Entertainment (UK) LTD.)

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 23: Uuden Ajan Merkit

Cruising through branches
a bird finds the nest empty
of feathers, just leaves.

Vanhat ennustukset ovat jälleen käyneet toteen
Napapisteet vaihtaneet paikkaa
Kompassineulakin pysähtynyt paikalleen keskelle kehäänsä
neula yrittää paikantaa uutta pohjoista pistettään

Uuden ajan merkit tänään ilmassa
Uuden ajan merkit näkyvät jo taivaalla
Uuden ajan merkit ennustettiin vuosia sitten
kun kaikki sateenkaaret katosivat sateen jälkeen

Lintuparvet lentävät, ovat kadottaneet suunnat
vanhojen muuttoreittien
Lentävät kohti etelää siivet ylösalaisin, kylmyyttä pakoon
kunnes putoilevat maahan sulat jäätyneinä

Uuden ajan merkit näkyvät nyt taivaalla
Uuden ajan merkit tänään ilmassa
Uuden ajan merkit ennustettiin vuosia sitten
kun kaikki sateenkaaret katosivat sateen jälkeen

Järven ranta vetäytynyt kauas ulapalle
Merivesi tulvii kaupungin kaduille
Tuulet ovat kääntyneinä suoraan pystysuuntaan
Poutapilvet pudonneina alas maan pintaan

Uuden ajan merkit tänään ilmassa
Uuden ajan merkit putoavat taivaalta

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Uuden Ajan Merkit" by Brüssel Kaupallinen. Lyrics & music by Juha-Pekka Aunola, Janne Helttunen, 
Petteri Korkala & Antti Leiviskä. © & ℗ 2014 Stop The Building.)

Monday, December 22, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 22: Needles And Pins

It tickles light when play becomes
a parlor down in solar flames.

How neat, I'm impressed
how did you come to be so blessed

You're a star, you blaze
out like a sharp machine
like a whale's moan
I'm here if that's what you want

Here we are
You're pins, I'm needles
Let's play
Here we are
If you want this
then come on

Tune out everyone in the crowd
because now it's just me and you
Come fall in love with the sound
Make a pact to each other
when no one's around
Put the cross between me and you
Who wants to fuck with us now

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Needles And Pins" by Deftones. Lyrics & music by Deftones. © & ℗ 2003 Maverick Recording Company.)

Sunday, December 21, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 21: When Everything Dies

Swans in bloom
like Convallarias
winds rusted beneath

of shadow kingdom

Route to an orchard

There bells wilt
feathers inhale petrol
the heart has exhaled.


(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("When Everything Dies" by God Is An Astronaut. Music by Lloyd Hanney, Niels Kinsella, Thomas Kinsella, Torsten Kinsella & Pat O'Donnell. ℗ & © Revive Records 2004.)

Saturday, December 20, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 20: Ephemeral

shivers after a fortnight
will crucify

You're on the breeze
rest in grey
Eternally sleep
Erase the day
I couldn't see you
through all the rain
Ember's sigh
holding our breath till the end

We end up far away
Out on the breeze
Take me past the horizon
We’re running out of time 

Anywhere is nowhere
Everywhere is fear
And you're just
all the walls of my lonely house
It's like awaiting
the end of the world
it sustains
the end of the world


There is no answer
to all that is crying
We're on to die
and carry on forever

The weakest died
it's the end of the world 

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Ephemeral" by October Tide. Music & lyrics by October Tide. © Vic Records and Music Publishing B.V.)

Friday, December 19, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 19: Ugly In The Morning

Hollow, new orthodox spasm
only wanes your potential
to brush thick seven strokes
to the canvas of men
Digging the layers of cache
- powder and bones buried -
their axe of half-lucidity
only bares the pot essential:
comforting wraiths.

You did one thing wrong, you woke up
It looked better before, more, more

And the stomach turns
Say nothing without wasting a word
I know exactly what you meant
I know how piggy feels
he starves without missing a meal
It's in the mirror

Don't look at me I'm ugly in the morning

When the headache's gone the skies not
Forgot to turn the alarm on, on

It doesn't matter how much you think
or the number of hairs in the sink
I did it to myself again
I know how piggy feels
he starves without missing a meal
It's getting clearer

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Ugly In The Morning" by Faith No More. Lyrics by Mike Patton, music by Billy Gould, Mike Patton & Trey Spruance. ℗ & © 1995 Slash Records.)

Thursday, December 18, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 18: White Knuckle Mountains

Eerie is the open sea
swimming in her
cradling, then drowning her
in the effect of an affect.

Strangers, the faces have changed
but lovers, I still remember
The deep black noise, the crossing roads
the soft blue rivers
The purple hills, the faint explosions
echo cosmic shivers

I'll leave the sadness behind
I'm killing the doubt from my mind
I know I'm strong enough
I keep telling myself
I'll leave the sadness behind
I'm killing the doubt from my mind
I must be strong enough

But now I know there's no way
we can change the past
No way we can make peace last
There's no way we control the future
we can, we can make peace last
that there's no way we could change

The great escape, the soothing rain
the misty winding highways
The warm round curves, a million miles
in the endless burning universe
 I want to hear what you hear
I want to see what you see
Synchronized, collective minds
our faces lose their meaning

White knuckle mountains
they tell me all

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)

("White Knuckle Mountains" by Velcra. Lyrics & music by Jessi Frey & O.D. ℗ & © 2007 Underarts Oy.)

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 17: L'Éveil des Muses

This evening's delight
the stolen gestures

Soaring from poverty

On the day between days
carrying a reflex
the victim of presence
 won't even know.

Y aura-t-il un nouveau temps
pour les âmes non humaines 
Leurs parcelles éthérées 
qui crient par-delà les vents
regrettent les passions mortelles
qu'elles n'ont pu éprouver
Y aura-t-il un nouveau temps
pour les enfants des cieux
marchant dans le silence
s'en allant retrouver leurs frères
qui de là-haut les protégeaint

[English translation as posted on]
Will there be a new dawn
for unhuman souls

Their ethereal fragments
screaming beyond the winds
longing for mortal passions
that they have never known
Will there be a new dawn
for children of the skies
walking in silence
to reunite with their brothers
who watched over them from above

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("L'Éveil des Muses" by Alcest. Lyrics &  music by Stéphane Paut©  & ℗ 2014 Prophecy Productions.)

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 16: Eternity

Tragic reign
birches wet
draught in sand
warmth transpires.

У вічності, де світла струм тече
повільно крутяться колеса часу
що на верстаті золотому тче
свій килим різнобарвний Дольні паси
пускає в рух незримий наш двигун
Мигтить узору плетиво примхливе
І завжди врівноважує вагу
Той, що складе в копу доспіле жниво
Все змірить мірою й благословить
Нас темрява обсотує і боре
лише часами блискавка на мить
із пітьми вихопить шматок узору
і ми, прокинувшись із небуття
якийсь уривок бачимо: химерні
страшні чи ясні обриси життя
Ми у руці тримаєм тільки зерна
Гаїв не бачимо, що з них зростуть
І зашумлять зеленим верховіттям
Ми лиш п'ємо гаркаву каламуть
Жахним на світ рождені лихоліттям

[English translation as posted on DarkLyrics]
In eternity, where the stream of light is running
There are rotating slowly wheels of time
Which is weaving on the gold machine
Its multicolored carpet, our invisible engine
Is setting in motion the driving belts
Capricious weaving pattern is blinking
And always counterbalances the weight
The one who will combine ripened crop in a bunch
Will measure everything and bless
The darkness entangles and fights us down
Only sometimes the lightning for an instant
From gloom will snatch out a piece of pattern
And we, have woken up from non-existence
Some fragment see: chimeric
Frightening or clear silhouettes of life
We hold only grains in a hand
We don’t see the groves, which will grow out of them
And will rustle with green tops
We, begotten by an awful hard times
only drink a bitter turbid liquid

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Eternity" by Drudkh. Lyrics by Yuriy Klen (1929),  music by Drudkh. ©  Season of Mist, ℗ 2006 Drudkh.)

Monday, December 15, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 15: Aftermath


apple burnished red
bitten with chattering teeth
not understanding, not paying a heed
when surfaces molted to be one met
Darkening quickly, it's losing flare
on pose as slice is seeing swallow
satiety leaves a lone hollow
too incomplete to bear

distance nor end.

Somebody take me away from the darkness
Somebody take this from me
If anyone's out there, if anyone hears me
Somebody take this from me

I was beginning to think I had lost my mind
Fell upon it hard and fell upon my hardest times
But the way she lit the room at night
cast shadows to their gloom and I
still dream of your perfume, I would do
anything to be with you

Edelweiss, angel why
Comfort me from so far away
Angel white, dream of mine
Come for me from so far away
Angel eyes, sweet love of mine
come back to me, though so far away
Please don't cry, there's still time
I won't change, so far away
Please don't cry, I won't

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Aftermath" by HURT. Lyrics & music by J. Loren Wince & Paul Spatola. © & ℗ 2007 Capitol Records, Inc.)

Sunday, December 14, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 14: Reality Dream III

             I will rather wake
                            up to


(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Reality Dream III" by Riverside. Music by Riverside. © & ℗ 2005 Inside Out Music.)

Saturday, December 13, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 13: Brave

heroic compassing

Dissonance in the gut
Carpets sustain blood
House is burning up
in a detached pond.

If you didn't know
all the moments when I lose myself
I would tell the world
I'm catching flies by now
speaking to someone
breaking the windows
This house is dead

The sound of falling
when the pictures are moving
between the memories

The sound of falling
when the pictures are moving
dead in time

Brave, try the meaning of loss
I know your smile is deadly at this point
wherever you are, I am not

If you didn't know
all the moments when I lose myself
I would tell the world
I guess I should know
the limits of the world
There are moments I find myself
not breathing at all

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Brave" by Katatonia. Lyrics  by Jonas Renkse, music by Katatonia. © & ℗ 2014 Peaceville Records Ltd.)

Friday, December 12, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 12: I See Your Face

Scape unlocks a pathway to ethereal grace
five-branched birds are riding on a playful sandstorm
conifers in snow stare back with an enchantment
then a reef for focus, a mountain of praxis
billowy gulf dressing an art to drain my feet.

Coming back today, the pounding thoughts relay
It's a time that's for myself
I'm laying low, strife is gaining slow
A kind of anguish I don't need

When I see your frown, hurt will put me down
If I could see a light shining
Is this borrowed time maybe a final time
that I can see a light shining

Will you make it slow 'cause evil makes it slow
I know you're brandishing the sign
Dare I take a chance in this circumstance
or will I leave without a hope
When you seal my fate sorrow turns to hate
If I could see a light shining
Is this borrowed time maybe a final time
that I can see a light shining

What one man makes is there for one to take
A single handed fall from grace
Hearts beating fast, beating to the last
A draining feeling's all that I know

When I see your frown, it becomes my frown

If I could see a light shining
Is this borrowed time maybe a final time
that I can see a light shining

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("I See Your Face" by Paradise Lost. Lyrics  & music by Aaron Aedy, Nick Holmes & Gregor Mackintosh. ℗ 1995 Music For Nations, ©  Sony BMG 2006.)

Thursday, December 11, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 11: Fusion

A human is like a plum:
carrying a stone is required to bear fruit.

Snowy, peaceful, grand
My mind's wondering on this land
How better I understand the bright
and serene outside and warm sap running in

Boiling, boiling, pulsing, pulsing
Living, living, explosive, explosive

As cold and heat can harmonize
As sour and sweet can embrace

I could be your wild one
You could be my guy. all right
You could be my wild one, all right

You say it's because of
his young age he won't obey
I say a free heart won't be caught
with reins, time and reassuring talk
the flame inside will stay

Care, warmth, loving arms
Little breaks for the wild horses' hearts

I will be your wild one
You'll be my guy. all right
You'll be my wild one, all right
All right then

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Fusion" by Eilera. Lyrics by Eilera, music by Eilera & Loïc Tézénas. ℗ Spinefarm Records, ©  Spin-Farm Ltd 2007.)

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 10: Coming Undone

In the place of dopamine this body grows venom
sliding from new heaven towards an old malady
The more that it fixates, the farther equilibrium
catacombs, calculations, phobias, mistakes.

Keep holding on when my brain's ticking like a bomb
Guess the black thoughts have come again to get me
Sweet bitter words unlike nothing I have heard
Sing along mocking bird, you don't affect me

That's right, deliver it to my heart
Please strike, be deliberate

Wait, I'm coming undone
Irate, I'm coming undone
Too late, I'm coming undone
One look so strong, so delicate
Wait, I'm starting to suffocate
And so I anticipate
I'm coming undone
One look so strong, so delicate

Choke choke again, I find my demons were my friends
Getting me in the end, they're out to get me
Since I was young I've tasted sorrow on my tongue
And this sweet sugar gun does not protect me

That's right, trigger between my eyes
Please strike, make it quick now

I'm trying to hold it together
Head is lighter than a feather
Looks like I'm not getting better

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Coming Undone" by Korn. Lyrics & music by Korn & The Matrix. © & ℗ 2005 Virgin Records.)

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 9: Tat Twam Asi

On a fallen wing where imperfection is a curse
it takes courage to observe that imperfection cures.

Tat twam asi
Lost in a wilderness, I will build a fire 
I become a fire to swim in the water

Burrowing and bellowing into a consciousness

Kicking against, yet we're needing to want this
Sucking and bleeding, now knee-deep in substance
Pulling and dragging, fail to allow ourselves

As we move to consciousness

As we move through consciousness
As we move to consciousness
Driven by need for transcendence

Focus on the focusless, focusless is the focus
Look into the self, one name branded deep

Burning and singing the markings of the soul

Turning, more turning, we assimilate ourselves
Needing the push, a sea of flailing limbs
Push to create an equilibrium

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Tat Twam Asi" by earthtone9. Lyrics & music by earthtone9. © & ℗ 2000 Copro Records.)

Monday, December 8, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 8: Always (k)new

In a mutual idea
of beautiful design
You unwillingly became a
Ficino's murderer

Blood of another:
bring me to life!
Suicide, I'll reflect;
my souls will be thine.

Say you are alone
Let me hear that one
'cause we are all alone
We are all like one

I won't let you love me
I will let you down
You are all in vain
You're all feeling down

Are they gonna tell you
that all this is just dirt
and when it hits you
you won't even feel it

'Cause I feel with you here
since the world begun to drown

So move
your heartache
come on
your heart

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Always (k)new" by Major Label. Lyrics & music by Major Label. © & ℗ 2003 Major Label.)

Sunday, December 7, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 7: Megalithic

Every man has to stop by a mountain
one that's ample and won't move

You know the air is too thin at the zenith
for lungs of tobacco to endure;
the climb devours a lifetime
of exhaustion and fall

If you strive to forsake the Earth
the Earth will let you go
Stone above, below and around you
harboring wavery movements
you may scream for grasp or carve in cruelty
but the mountain still won't move.


(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("Megalithic (Princess Remix)" by Twin Zero. Music by Twin Zero. © & ℗ 2006 Twin Zero.)

Saturday, December 6, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 6: The Justice Of Suffering

Betrayal hearkens the soil for weakness of rust.

I curse the love for you and pale souls you've tasted

The songs of filthy passion will soon turn to cries of pain
When I claim what is mine through the justice of suffering

When the paying of her sins comes closer the night will end in tears

And the moment you dirt her skin
with your fingers, 
you'll be sentenced

I, every second with her I count and for every second you'll suffer too

No light will save them now

when the words of hope have all been spoken
And I wash the blood from my hands
let them lie, silent and cold flowers

For my anger is greater

than the hand that once swept your cheek
And my anger is greater
than the human I was
I will claim what is mine
through the justice of suffering

Is the poison in your womb

worth of the burning flesh
in this pyre of ghost lovers

But every second with her I count

and for every second you'll suffer too
The night will end
It will end in tears soon

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("The Justice Of Suffering" by Swallow The Sun & Jonas Renkse. Lyrics & music by Juha Raivio. © & ℗ 2007 Spinefarm Records.)

Friday, December 5, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 5: You Again

A fling-like flicker from bizarre hour
now and then flies by the dusk; my wife sour
meanwhile elusive, steady wax incites
enchants wasted eyes, rotten core ignites.

Well I hope I never see you again
Well I hope I never touch you again
Sometimes I wonder what's fucked in my heart
I won't let your fingers tear us apart

It's all so simple, it's all over again
A lack of talent is caving you in
Sometimes I wonder what's fucked in your heart
We're losing grip now, now we're falling apart

Speaker speaks but the words sound haunted
so much it's falling out of your hands
Could you ever tell
And it's there for me, there to see
And it's in full view
Why did I waste my time on you

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("You Again" by Shihad. Lyrics & music by Shihad. © & ℗ 1995 Wildside Records.)

Thursday, December 4, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 4: All That I'm Living For

Prowess in powerlessness restless, ruthless, useless
Why do I caress yet care for my own absentness
Whether words are said, written, or secret they're tone deaf
Foolish agony, a vanity, screams romantic

Casting all intent to play is what I always claim

in truth, ashamed I live for gain I will never attain.

I can feel the night beginning
separate me from the living
understanding me after all I've seen
Piecing every thought together
find the words to make me better
If I only knew how to pull myself apart

All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore alone at night
All that I'm wanted for
although I wanted more
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me

I believe that dreams are sacred
Take my darkest fears and play them
like a lullaby, like a reason why
like a play of my obsessions
Make me understand the lesson
so I'll find myself, so I won't be lost again

Guess I thought I'd have to change the world
to make you see me
to be the one
I could have run forever
but how far would I have come
without mourning your love

Should it hurt to love you
Should I feel like I do
Should I lock the last open door
My ghosts are gaining on me

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("All That I'm Living For" by Evanescence. Lyrics by Amy Lee, music by Amy Lee & John LeCompt. © & ℗ 2006 Wind-up Records.)

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 3: Blades

Holding hands hails heresy
Owls oblivious of oaths
pursuing paying practices
Explicit entertainment era

Larcenous limbs labeling laws
outlawing ownership
Segregation showers source
Tales token the timeless truth.

You'll find the way
everything will change

We'll find a way
or everybody in this world is gonna stay the same

They're insane, there's no way we can change
dark days, too late

Fuck the system
stand up and listen
we will never be a part of your altercation

We're just waiting for the day when you awaken
staring at the cracks in your pavement

It's time to take action
feels like we're being held up ransom

but I tell you, the faster they're feeding our fiction
don't believe in the jurisdiction
atone proscription

We give them orders, they ignore our decisions
with intent to destroy our religion 

Never give up, we're not gonna stop

You need to fucking wake up
this is a set-up

They just tighten the noose
to corrupt the youth

with twisted brutes
hoods hide the truth

Never give up, we're not gonna stop
there's no one to trust

We'll find the way
everything will change

(Photo and poem ©2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)

("Blades" by Hacktivist. Lyrics & music by Hacktivist. ©&℗ 2013 Hacktivist.)

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 2: Flying Whales

Persuading sugars clones
the price imitates aqua
A variable lack of
in a death-esque dessert
Deliberation in decline
in reach the pseudo-divine
Feeding excess throes

as coffee puddles drip, drift, dry.

Waters of chaos have invaded all space
The flood on Earth again, I have to find the whales
that once did guide us to the dry lands of life
I won't despair, I'll break this dark around

Under heavy sea I'll search the flight of whales

Beneath the seas I searched and had a different view
of us on Earth: the sinking ship of men
but it's beyond the stars I found the place
where they were and they finally came to light

Over the winds they dwell in light
like the arrow in the sky I found myself on higher grounds
from up here, for I'd see them, all the waste inside

Now I can see the whales looming out of the dark
like arrows in the sky, I can't believe my eyes, but it's true

Huge tunnel ends in light, like banks of clouds they gather
See massive shape of flesh, swimming giants in the clear
The mightiest comes to me, I'm on the wing wide open
They teach me how to fly, slowly moving in the air, they dance

So much told with no words at all
Powerful presence for only speech, breath

Over the winds they dwell in light

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona TurunenLicensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)

("Flying Whales" by Gojira. Lyrics by Joe Duplantier, music by Gojira. ℗ 2005 Gabriel Editions, © 2005 Listenable Records.)