Thursday, December 4, 2014

[Christmas Calendar] Day 4: All That I'm Living For

Prowess in powerlessness restless, ruthless, useless
Why do I caress yet care for my own absentness
Whether words are said, written, or secret they're tone deaf
Foolish agony, a vanity, screams romantic

Casting all intent to play is what I always claim

in truth, ashamed I live for gain I will never attain.

I can feel the night beginning
separate me from the living
understanding me after all I've seen
Piecing every thought together
find the words to make me better
If I only knew how to pull myself apart

All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore alone at night
All that I'm wanted for
although I wanted more
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me

I believe that dreams are sacred
Take my darkest fears and play them
like a lullaby, like a reason why
like a play of my obsessions
Make me understand the lesson
so I'll find myself, so I won't be lost again

Guess I thought I'd have to change the world
to make you see me
to be the one
I could have run forever
but how far would I have come
without mourning your love

Should it hurt to love you
Should I feel like I do
Should I lock the last open door
My ghosts are gaining on me

(Photo and poem © 2014 Joona Turunen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.)
("All That I'm Living For" by Evanescence. Lyrics by Amy Lee, music by Amy Lee & John LeCompt. © & ℗ 2006 Wind-up Records.)

1 comment:

Joona said...

Thursdays are for female-fronted bands, starting with no other than Evanescence and their gorgeous acoustic live rendition of All That I'm Living For. The font color for all these entries will be white. The whole of this post deals with a kind of "artist's agony" and flirts with the image of a romantic artist who works at night in particular. The photo is from last Winter, taken in my now-past hometown, Kerimäki (as were photos for days 1 and 2). This is undeniably a modest scene but one I cherish every time I take a walk there.